A couple days back I was talking to a good family friend.while talking I gave him my advice on something Ithought was for his best.And suddenly he became defensive and hostile. He was of the point that he knows what to do and no one can understand better than him.He went so far as to become condescending of my views and even threatened to finish our friendship.I was astounded to say the least .so I just wrapped up the conversation .
But the topic didn’t leave me ,I thought maybe he didnt like that ,me, being his junior, told him something. That, maybe so, but I only said that for his benefit.
What struck me the most was, that I usually didn’t oppose him.I knew that he doesn’t like being contradicted. I realized, that just to be approved, I wasn’t voicing my opinions. I was trying to avoid confrontation. That doesn’t mean I was changing my opinion, I just wasn’t imposing them on others.It made me question that, is the worry of what others think, worth it to let your voice die down.
Sure I wasn’t like this before, I used to voice my opinion, but then i was labeled aggressive.
Point is society forces you to mould yourself .
I think a mid way should be chosen, and im glad to say that I actually talked in soft tones when I tried to tell my friend .It was his reaction that was over.
This lead to another revelation. Blame.And Ive found, those who blame, rarely succeed . Bitterness, disappointments ,they lead to more bitterness.
A person should never think they know everything thing, they never do.This closes them off .Puts them at a standstill. Sure maybe its to protect themselves. But it also prevents them from learning.
Listening is a must.
Infact I was reading Happiness for dummies and it says that problems should be seen as challenges to overcome and to look for opportunities.
What a good reminder.
When you put blame on others, its usually not the others who are wholly responsible.Look at the complete picture and you will find that you are to blame too.Either your naivety, or your unwillingness to decide for yourself leads to bad results.
Its your life, you should take responsibility.